John Kim 
Earlier today, the tech giant known as Apple, Inc. unveiled some new products for people to blow money on, but the most exquisite of the bunch is the Apple Watch in its highest-tiered trim. Priced at $17,000, the Apple Watch Edition comes with 18-karat yellow or rose gold encasing, an ultra-hard sapphire crystal display, and – hold onto your seats – exquisitely crafted bands and clasps. Could you expect anything less from a watch that could get you a Honda Civic with full title in hand and a Chipotle burrito with guac? (Yes, we know it’s extra).
If you can afford Apple’s new gold plated timepiece, chances are you can easily cop all the sneakers we’re about to jot down here. The purpose of this list here isn’t to get you to buy them, but to show just how insanely indulgent consumerism has become and that sneakers are more valuable as unworn commodities rather than, you know, for functional use. Check out this list of sneakers that are too expensive for their own right despite being insanely awesome.
The actual Apple sneaker
We don’t know where these are up for sale, but if you can track someone down with a pair, we’re certain you can get ’em in your hands for well below the price of the watch.
A pair of Air Jordans autographed by Michael
If we need to explain to you how a pair of Jays autographed by Black Jesus is a worthy collectible item, please leave now.
Nike SB Dunk High “FLOM”
We can’t talk about throwing money around without mentioning these awesome Nike Dunks. The “For Love of Money” was designed by NYC graffiti artist Futura and about 24 pairs were made. Buy them here.
The Wu-Tang Dunks
If you’re an investor and “diversified your bonds” properly, you’d have the dough to cop these insanely rare Nike Dunks. Buy them here.
Both Pairs of Oregon 3s
The shoes that ignited the Air Jordan Oregon PE craze deserve mention in several “best of” lists. You can actually buy both the white pair and the Pit Crew joints for less than the watch.
Nike Mags
This awesome sneaker released in 2011 exclusive through eBay auctions, with all proceeds going towards Parkinson’s research. They’re coming back out this year with full power-lacing, but the 2011 version is still worth adding to your high-end collection. Buy them here.
These Insane Nike Rip-Offs from the Early 80s
Nike has had its fair share of imposters, but never have we seen sneakers that use the exact Swoosh logo. Sure, the placement is not what we’d expect, but this is the kinda of funky shoe find that would be awesome in a museum. Buy them here.
A Pair of Roshes
You don’t need to be spending ridiculous money on sneakers that you’d never wear. Just buy Roshes and call it a day.
